“It didn’t bother me that I was classed as a geriatric mother”

I found out I was pregnant… 

in February 2022. We’d only been trying for a month but my period is usually like clockwork so when it was just one day late, I took a test and it was positive. I was amazed it had happened so quickly. Up until then I hadn’t been in the right relationship to bring a baby into, and I had been focusing on my career as a solicitor. Then along came Rob and I knew the time was right, both in my personal and my professional life, to try for a baby. It didn’t bother me that I would be classed as a ‘geriatric’ mother.

The first person I told was…

Rob. He was lying in bed and I was in the bathroom, and when I walked in holding the test, he cracked a huge smile. We both felt very lucky to have conceived so easily and quickly, we knew that wasn’t always the case for ‘older’ couples.

I announced the pregnancy by…

I told my mum before the 12 week scan and swore her to secrecy, then after the scan I Whatsapped my closest friends a photo of the positive pregnancy test and my phone almost exploded with messages and calls. Everyone was so happy for us.

I felt like…

I was so lucky. Along with my age, I also suffer from fibroids and have a high BMI, and I had known it wasn’t a given I would be able to conceive easily. I did feel anxious in the early months as I was at a higher risk of miscarriage, and so only told close family and friends until I was around five months pregnant, when I felt more confident everything was going to be ok. 

My weirdest craving was… 

I had none but absolutely hated the smell of garlic so if Rob had been eating it, I refused to go near him.

The best thing about being pregnant was…

Seeing my body change and my bump grow, knowing my baby was getting bigger and stronger inside me. I’d always wondered what I would look like as a pregnant woman so it was amazing seeing myself like that, my tummy getting rounder and bigger by the day. I loved it.

The worst thing about being pregnant was…

I suffered Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) which was very painful and uncomfortable. It felt like the baby was going to fall out of me! I was so relieved that went away once Rhys was born.

My plans for the birth were…

To give birth in hospital and have an epidural because I didn’t want to be in pain.

How the birth went was…

In the weeks leading up to my due date I was experiencing reduced fetal movement and some bleeding and so was back and forth to the hospital every day to be monitored. I was induced seven days before my due date but it didn’t go smoothly. The pessary fell out, so a hormone drip was put up and my waters were broken to get me started. Then the baby’s heart rate dropped and I was rushed to theatre for an emergency c-section. That was a scary experience with the theatre filled with people in scrubs. Rhys, who was born the day after his due date, was whisked off to the NICU after he was born, and I didn’t get to see him until he was around seven hours old because I couldn’t walk after the c-section and my hospital bed was too big to fit through the doors of the NICU. 

The first thing I thought when I met my baby was… 

How relieved I was to have him in my arms. The weeks before his birth had been so worrying, and then his birth was so traumatic, but holding him for the first time and looking at his little face, I just felt glad he was here safely.

We chose the name because…

It was a name we both loved, especially its spelling. We wanted a strong name that would stand out from the crowd a bit and would also reflect Rob’s Welsh paternal heritage.

I had wanted to find out if we were having a boy or a girl, but Rob wanted a surprise, so I knew before the birth I was going to have a boy and he didn’t. I managed to keep it a secret! Rhys was top of the list of boy’s names so I knew that was what our baby was going to be called months before he was born.

My essential newborn item was….

A nightlight which gives just enough light for doing feeds and nappy changes during the night, without being too bright.

The thing I hardly used was…

An electric steam steriliser, although Rob has used it. I have preferred using a cold water one.

The best advice I was given was…

Sleep when the baby sleeps, and I did do that in the early months because I was so tired. I ignored the housework and had a nap instead and I’m glad I did that, it really helped me.

The worst advice I was given was…

Thankfully I haven’t been given any bad advice!

As told to Eimear O’Hagan.