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Baby Showers: The Case For and Against

We're giving you the lowdown on the baby shower trend so you can make an informed decision: for... or against?

Week22-babyshowers

By now it’s probably pretty obvious that you haven’t just had a big sourdough-based lunch (although it’s highly possible that you’ve been enjoying a lot of bread AND your pregnancy, of course. They don’t call it a bun in the oven for nothing). Plus, you might be finding that your energy levels are pretty good right now.

Therefore, it’s a good point in pregnancy to start planning social stuff you’d like to get up to before the baby comes - and one of those events might well be your baby shower.

While the modern day baby shower came out of the 1950s baby boom in the US, the tradition of giving a pregnant woman lots of fuss and presents ahead of the birth is long-established, with numerous traditions across the globe dating back centuries - for instance, there’s an ancient Hindu tradition called seemantha in which the expectant mother would be gifted lots of dried fruits and sweets to help with the baby’s growth, alongside music and prayers. 

The UK is relatively recent to get on the baby shower train, partly because in ye olden days, pregnancy had to be treated with discretion, with the birth of the baby being the first many friends and family would hear of it. Imagine!   

But a lot has changed. Now around half of new parents in the UK throw baby showers - or, more often, have them thrown for them. But not everyone’s keen - so we thought we’d give you the low down on the trend to help you make an informed decision (that’s if you have any say in the matter whatsoever, of course - quite a lot of baby showers are a total surprise! So if you really, really don’t want one, we’d suggest making it very clear to your friends, family, in-laws… and over-excited Jacqui in Payroll).

When should I have a baby shower?

The early bit of the third trimester - so between around 28 and 32 weeks - seems to be the sweet spot for baby showers. Why? Well, it comes at a point in pregnancy where mums-to-be tend to be feeling good, therefore in the mood to slip into something tent-like and floral/figure-hugging and monochrome while sipping some elderflower cordial with their nearest and dearest. And, as you’ll likely be given a lot of gifts, it’s good to have your do before you do too much shopping yourself, so as not to double or quadruple up on baby swag. Some people veer closer to their due date, of course, but you might find that when the time comes, you just don’t have the energy (plus your baby becomes much more likely to end up being an uninvited guest!).

Baby shower1

Where should I have a baby shower?

Traditionally, baby showers are thrown at the home of the expectant parents or a close family member - but these days they’re big business, so lots of restaurants, cafes and event spaces are happy to host them too, not least because they usually happen during the day when they might otherwise be quiet (plus, it takes the pressure off the parents-to-be to do any clean-up afterwards). The mini office baby shower is a thing these days, too. So basically: baby showers happen everywhere, just usually not in an actual shower.

Would it be crass to throw my own baby shower?

Not at all - while many people are thrown surprise baby showers, or get their mum/sister/best mate to organise it (after all, if you’re having a baby there’s enough admin to be getting on with already without throwing some party-planning into the mix…), others host their own - less for the presents, and more because they want to get together with their friends and family before their life gets a little bit of a shake-up… 

Baby shower

Who should I invite to my baby shower?

That’s up to you - some people have family baby showers, others just invite their mates, and some people throw it open to Amanda from three doors down, their partner’s sister’s mate’s boyfriend’s daughter and the nice chatty woman from yoga. It really all depends how much attention you like!

Traditionally, baby showers are a women-only affair, but this sounds a little old-fashioned these days, so it’s totally cool to welcome friends and family of all genders if you would like to.

It’s also up to you if you want kids there - on the one hand, it can easily start to feel like a kids’ party instead of your special celebration, but if lack of childcare is likely to rule out some of your loved ones from attending, you might want to include their kids. Plus it could be a good time to get used to being around little ones, right?!

What sort of games do people play at baby showers?

OK, so not everyone loves organised fun, but if you do, there are a ton of simple baby shower games you could get stuck into, from the cute (like a “guess who” with baby photos of all the guests) to the questionable (generally involving chocolate and nappies…). If games aren’t your thing, sitting around and chatting over a cuppa and some cake is more than enough of a celebration.

OK, I’ve read all that, but I still don’t want a baby shower… that’s OK, isn’t it? 

Not into the baby shower thing? That’s totally fine! Just make sure your friends and family are very aware of this little fact-ette, or you might have to assume your best “surprised but delighted” face while secretly seething…

Need help or advice? Our Baby Brains are here for you!