“I want to enjoy all the cuddles in my arms I can.”

I found out I was pregnant… 

In early April 2022. We had been trying for around six months and I was tracking my cycle. One day at work - I’m a dental nurse and always on my feet and rushing around - I bumped into a door frame and my boobs were really sore. That was the first clue, as that wasn’t normal for me. The next morning, which was a Saturday, I took a test on my own while Mike was out walking the dog, and it was positive. Even though we’d been trying it still shocked me, in a brilliant way, that it was actually happening.

The first person I told was…

Mike, but in a really special way, so he’d never forget this moment in our life together. When he proposed to me in 2017, he had put a ring inside a Kinder egg to surprise me, so I pinched his idea to tell him I was pregnant. After taking the pregnancy test, I went to the shop, bought a Kinder egg and wrote a message from the baby saying “I can’t wait to meet you Daddy”, and then placed it inside the egg. His face when he opened it was such a picture, he was so happy and surprised. 

I announced the pregnancy by…

I posted a message on Facebook and Instagram on Father’s Day in June 2022, when I was around 14 weeks pregnant. Before that, I had already told my family and my boss because I was feeling quite nauseous at work and wanted them to know why, and a few close friends too.

I felt like…

The proudest, happiest woman in the world. It was a dream come true to be pregnant and counting off each week that was bringing us closer to meeting our son or daughter. Mike was more nervous than me because a family member of his had a miscarriage, and of course like lots of expectant mums I had some anxiety, but I also wanted to just enjoy the pregnancy and trust everything would be ok.

My weirdest craving was…

Salt and vinegar flavour crisps and garlic bread, I couldn’t get enough of it!

The best thing about being pregnant was…

Feeling the baby wriggle around and kick. He was very active, especially in the evenings, we used to joke that was his disco time. Mike and I would play the song “You’ll Be In My Heart” by Phil Collins, which was played at our wedding, and he always started kicking when it came on.

The worst thing about being pregnant was…

The fatigue. I’d never experienced tiredness like it. With being on my feet much of the day at work, I used to come home and collapse into bed and fall fast asleep. And that tiredness was with me throughout the pregnancy, it never really lifted.

How the birth went was….

My contractions started three days before my due date but the baby was back to back, so labour was very slow. I spent three days at home during which time my hind waters went, then I went into hospital to have my front waters broken and be induced. A hormone drip was put up in the morning and I delivered that evening. Because I had been induced, I wasn’t allowed to use the birthing pool which was disappointing but I have made peace with it now. 

The first thing I thought when I met my baby was… 

how glad I was the labour was over as it had been going on for days! Then came an overwhelming feeling of joy and love, and I was so happy when I was told he was a boy. We hadn’t found out and I loved that surprise.

We chose the name because…

Mike picked Jesse, it’s the name of his great-grandfather so it meant a lot to him. I chose the middle name, which is Phoenix.

My essential newborn item was…

A white noise machine and a swaddle. He sleeps much better when he is swaddled and his arms can’t flail around him and wake him.

The thing I hardly used was…

We tried to only buy things we were sure we’d use and so far, nothing has sat idle. 

The best advice I was given was…

Everything is a phase. That has really helped me during the nights of no sleep, or the witching hour crying. I remember it will pass and things will change soon.

The worst advice I was given was….

Don’t hold your baby too much or they will get too attached to you. I know Jesse isn’t going to be little for long and I want to enjoy all the cuddles in my arms I can.

As told to Eimear O’Hagan.